Upon receiving a long-term diagnosis, one begins to live life in two ways: as a healthy person enjoying life and as a sick person preparing for the future. Hope is present everywhere, although the reality is not optimistic. No, one lives as a healthy person, because one does not know what awaits and how to prepare for it. Memories are a painful reminder of limitations. With an acquired disability comes a long process of adjustment. Success doesn’t mean that we won’t feel regret, anger, or a sense of injustice, but it does help to have a realistic perception of one’s situation and capabilities. This applies to both patients and their loved ones so that they realize this and don’t set goals for the disabled that they can’t meet. At some point “normality” ends and will not return, and the disease process is irreversible.

The spirit wants more than the body can. Physical activity depends on health, but health also depends on physical activity. Lack of coordination, balance, agility and regret for lost activity. Limitations and a change in perspective. Reducing expectations and increasing factors that determine success. Functionality becomes a training goal, defining future and current exercise.

And what does this functionality look like for me? Varies. Often I discover my limitations while doing an activity. Still, fortunately, I haven’t yet had any situation that would turn me back or turn me off my chosen route – which can happen, for example, in the case of a staircase without a banister. I also very often impose limitations on myself and give up on something, just because in the future the activity will be difficult or impossible to perform, or will require an outside person to support or take over.

Pictures of my condition do not show it, only a video would show how clumsily I walk, possibly making tea or any other activity that requires speed and precision. I’m slow to paint, slow to tie my shoelaces, slow to button buttons, slow to handwrite, and generally slow at everything. However, it is better to slow than not at all… 

Let’s assume, however, that we are not a panicking lunatic, but only need to find a way of dealing with our emotions, because according to Sarah Knight: “What happens in your life sucks exactly as much as you think it does”[How to Calm Your Thoughts, ebook]

All my problems are a veritable interweave, they are either the result or the cause of my illness and it is impossible to separate them…. Of all the ailments I have, each one fiercely fights for the one most powerfully ruining my life so far. I have no intention of thanking my illness, apologizing, and considering it a divine plan. What hurts me is how much of a barrier it has put up for me and how much it has changed my life. She forced changes that are already heavily demanding, and this is just the beginning. She took what she could and shattered it decently. Unfortunately, what happens to us is not always good or serves something good.

I take the recommended high-dose Coenzyme Q10 (1200 mg), in addition to vitamin B12 and E400 , because they are good for the brain, D3, because it is recommended for hypothyroidism – which I have – and Mg with K for the painful cramps that occur in this condition. For depression, I was taking Moklar, but it was changed to Parogen, which helps more strongly with anxiety. I see a speech therapist once a week, and 2-3 times with a physical therapist. I exercise physically and have fascial therapy, combined with craniosacral therapy. In addition, I work at home, but my activity needs to be increased and structured. 

It’s time to reevaluate my life … and not to allow anymore, not a single drop of sadness. I’m continuing what I’ve been doing. Speech therapy, physiotherapy, psychologist, psychiatrist. Medical help is my first step to regain my life balance, although the cure is not there. Self-care is as important to me as help from professionals. We all strive for the same thing, a healthy spirit and a healthy body. Without one, there is no other. Books give me a broad horizon to see how mankind lived and how they overcame the difficulties they encountered both in the past and today. Changing views and attitudes is long-term and will certainly not magically happen after reading a few studies, but hopefully, it will provide me with valuable knowledge that I will turn into a valuable life. Exclusive existence is a waste of earthly resources….

Drugs. Sports. Nutrition. Herbs!